Failure
by losingcontrol92
Summary: She had never failed herself before, but now she had failed him too.


**A/N: Hey guys, I've never written a piece like this before. It was inspired by a good friend of mine who had to go through this horrible experience. I would love to know what you all think. **

* * *

><p><strong>Failure.<strong>

She slowly peels away the thin layers of clothing, allowing them to fall aimlessly on the bathroom floor. She locks her eyes, shut, forcing the unavoidable tears back for a just a few more seconds. Pulling on the shower curtain, she takes a deep breath prying her eyes back open. Stepping in to the shower she waves her wand turning it on. Placing her wand on the counter, she pulls the shower curtain back around allowing herself to hide away, creating her own world. She brushes her hair back, stepping beneath the flowing water. Now she cries, here she can cry. The tears become lost in the water trailing down her face, along with the hurt and anger.

Yet she can't lose _it. _

Her greatest fear, a living nightmare.

Failure.

It was something she had never wanted to experience. Something she still had yet to experience. Something she fought against, striving for excellence.

This was it, she had finally done it.

She had failed.

_The_ Hermione Granger had failed.

She had failed to hold, maintain, provide and protect her child. Her body had given out, failing to create the right environment and home for her child. 3 months, that's all she had managed. 3 months before her body had given up, before her body had failed.

Her parents always taught that failure was preventable, given the right amount of effort and perseverance success would be inevitable. For the past 25 years she held on to that belief, but they were wrong. Despite every effort she had failed to protect her baby, _their child_. She had not only failed herself, she had failed him.

The tears increase as her mind wanders to how he must be feeling, to be told that she was giving him a child only to rip it out of his grasp before he had the chance to hold it. He didn't deserve this; he deserved a woman who could give him a family, who could protect their child. He deserved better. The sobs shook her body as she the devastation and hurt continued to course through her. She lost herself to the pain, lost to the whirlwind of anger and grief.

She didn't register his arrival until two strong freckled forearms laced around her waist, pulling her back into his clothed chest. The water cascades around their intertwined bodies, his clothes dampening.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So sorry" she murmurs between sobs. He sighs against her back, his warmth breath finding its way through her sodden hair to tickle her ear.

He trails his hands up her sides before gripping her shoulders and gently pulling her to face him. He pushes the drenched hair out of her face and is instantly crestfallen at the pained expression. He uses his thumb to push the tears away from beneath her tired eyes but it's no use as their quickly replaced by more.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, unable to meet his gaze.

"It's not your fault" he murmurs.

She shakes her head causing water to dive in all directions, "It is my fault, can't you see that?" she lashes out with anger and frustration "I couldn't look after it. I couldn't save it. I failed." she screams hitting his chest in frustration, he pulls her into him and she admits defeat, allowing herself to receive the comfort as his hand trails up and down her back soothingly "I couldn't protect our baby, our baby… my baby" her voice loses itself to the tears as she mumbles into his chest.

He feels his own tears begin to form in his eyes and he swallows the lump in his throat, "It's not your fault" he whispers again.

She lifts her head and meets his gaze for the first time since the hospital, "Why?" she asks.

He had asked himself the same question for the last four days, just as she had, but he has no answer. There is no answer. There's no reason why a perfectly healthy 25 year old had lost a baby, _their baby. _He shakes his head as a lone tear escapes down his face, "I don't know" he whispers in reply. "I don't know, maybe…" he strokes her porcelain skin with the pad of his thumb, "Maybe, maybe this child wasn't meant to be. Maybe it's because it wasn't planned or because we thought weren't ready." He sees the hurt still shinning in her eyes and continues to run his hand up and down her back whilst the other caresses her check soothingly, "but maybe it was a sign. This… this pain and this hurt and this loss we're going through is telling us that we're ready now, ready to start a family, to _plan _a family. And when that day comes, when we finally have a child - we're gonna know just how lucky we are and how special that child is."

"You won't leave me?" she asks. His heart shatters all over again at the vulnerability oozing from her. His eyes scan her, she's worn, hurt and tired and all he wants to do is hold her. He removes his shirt and her hand reaches out to trace the small dragon egg rocking back and forth on his hip. She takes her small hand in his own calloused one, he side steps her slightly leaning his back into the wall of the shower. He pulls her into him, her back pressing into his bare chest and he slowly lowers them to the ground. She sits nestled in between his knees and she leans her head back to rest on his shoulder as the water continues to hit at her. He pulls the errant strands of hair around her ear away, brushing it out of his way.

She gasps slightly as his breath hits her ear, "Last week you were my everything. Yesterday you were my everything. Tomorrow you'll still be everything." Placing a small kiss to her bare shoulder he whispers "And the day after that…" placing a kiss slightly closer to her neck he continues "And the week after that…" he moved to place a kiss beneath her ear "And the month after that…"

She forces the tears back for a few seconds before turning her head slightly to brush her lips gently against his, turning back to rest against his chest. Allowing the water and silence to consume them, they sigh together out of relief and comfort. He moves his lips to brush them against the back of her ear before whispering into it "Hermione Jean Granger, I love you. And I'm still going to love you no matter what".

"I love you too, Charlie." She whispers.

And for a split second she feels something she hasn't felt for the last four days. _Hope_. It lasted a small second before the hurt and pain replaced it again. But she had felt it. It had been there, and hopefully that flicker of hope would last a little bit longer tomorrow.


End file.
